THE MARINERA AFFAIR

A screen play

FADE IN:

EXT. CARIBBEAN SEA - DAY

The turquoise water sparkles under brutal December sun. The horizon is vast, empty, peaceful.

Then we see it.

The BELLA 1. A 300,000-ton rust bucket of an oil tanker. Paint peeling. Hull stained with decades of crude. She moves through the water like a dying whale - slow, ponderous, ancient. Eight knots maximum. You could jog faster.

SUPER: “DECEMBER 21, 2025 - OFF THE COAST OF VENEZUELA”

INT. US COAST GUARD COMMAND CENTER - CONTINUOUS

Banks of screens. Satellite feeds. Radar stations. Twenty officers monitoring every pixel of ocean. Commander JENKINS (50s, jaw like granite) stands at the center, arms crossed.

JENKINS

There. Bella 1. Iranian oil. False flag. We’ve got the warrant. This is it, people.

The room buzzes with efficiency. This is the full might of American naval power focused on one target.

TACTICAL OFFICER

Cutter is in position, sir. Two helicopters on standby. SEAL team ready for boarding.

Jenkins nods. Today’s the day.

EXT. CARIBBEAN SEA - CONTINUOUS

A US COAST GUARD CUTTER cuts through the water at 28 knots. Sleek. Modern. Bristling with communications equipment. Behind it, two more vessels. Above, a helicopter circles like a predator.

They close in on the Bella 1, which continues its glacial crawl through the ocean.

INT. BELLA 1 BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

The bridge is... dated. Soviet-era equipment held together with duct tape and prayers. Captain YURI (60s, weathered face, permanent cigarette) watches through salt-stained windows as the Coast Guard approaches.

First Mate DIMITRI (40s) points at the radio squawking with official demands to stop and prepare for boarding.

DIMITRI

Captain?

Yuri takes a long drag. Exhales slowly.

YURI

Hard to port. Full speed.

Dimitri blinks.

DIMITRI

Full... speed?

YURI

Da. All eight knots.

EXT. CARIBBEAN SEA - CONTINUOUS

The massive tanker begins its turn. It takes forever. The whole ship groans. Rivets probably pop somewhere. But slowly, impossibly slowly, like watching a continental plate shift, the Bella 1 comes about 180 degrees.

And then, at her blistering eight knots, she heads away from the Coast Guard.

INT. US COAST GUARD COMMAND CENTER - CONTINUOUS

Stunned silence.

JENKINS

Did that tanker just... run?

TACTICAL OFFICER

Sir, they’re fleeing. Speed eight knots.

JENKINS

We’re doing twenty-eight!

TACTICAL OFFICER

Yes, sir.

JENKINS

So pursue! Intercept!

EXT. CARIBBEAN SEA - CONTINUOUS

The Coast Guard cutter surges forward, closing the distance in minutes. They pull alongside the Bella 1.

The Bella 1 continues its pathetic eight knots.

The Coast Guard... slows down. Matches pace. Maintains half-mile distance.

INT. US COAST GUARD COMMAND CENTER - CONTINUOUS

JENKINS

Why aren’t we boarding?

LEGAL OFFICER

Sir, we need clearance from State. There are jurisdictional questions about the flag registration and—

JENKINS

Just board the damn ship!

LEGAL OFFICER

Working on it, sir.

MONTAGE - THE CHASE

• Day 1: The Bella 1 crawls north. The Coast Guard follows at half-mile.

• Day 3: More Coast Guard vessels join. Now it’s three cutters, four helicopters. All following one rusty tanker doing eight knots.

• Day 5: A DESTROYER joins the convoy. A literal destroyer. With missiles. Following a ship that moves slower than a bicycle.

• Day 7: Satellite footage shows the procession from space. It looks like a funeral march.

INT. PENTAGON - WAR ROOM - DAY 8

Generals surround a table with a map of the Atlantic. The Bella 1’s position is marked with a single slow-moving icon. Surrounding it: seventeen military assets.

GENERAL MORRISON

Status?

AIDE

Still... following it, sir.

GENERAL MORRISON

We have a carrier strike group in the Mediterranean. Should we divert?

Long pause.

AIDE

For an eight-knot tanker, sir?

GENERAL MORRISON

...no. No, that would look ridiculous.

Too late. It already does.

INT. BELLA 1 CREW QUARTERS - DAY 8

The crew sits around a table. Dimitri has maps spread out.

DIMITRI

They still behind us.

YURI

Of course they are. We very slow.

DIMITRI

But they not boarding.

YURI

Also of course. Lawyers.

Third Mate BORIS (30s) looks up from his phone.

BORIS

Hey. What if we paint Russian flag on side?

Everyone stops. Stares at him.

BORIS (CONT’D)

Russia says shadow fleet should register as Russian. Protection.

YURI

We being chased by US military in middle of Atlantic Ocean.

BORIS

Da.

YURI

And you want register ship while moving?

BORIS

Is possible. My cousin work at registry office in Sochi. We submit form online.

Beat.

YURI

Get paint.

EXT. BELLA 1 - MAIN DECK - DAY 9

Four crew members dangle from ropes against the hull. They have paint buckets. Red. Blue. White.

They’re painting the Russian tricolor. While the ship moves. While the entire US Coast Guard watches from half a mile away.

It’s the worst paint job in maritime history. The flag is crooked. The colors bleed together. But it’s recognizable.

INT. US COAST GUARD CUTTER - BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

An officer lowers his binoculars slowly.

OFFICER

Sir... they’re painting a Russian flag on the hull.

The captain joins him at the window. They watch in silence as the crew continues their art project.

CAPTAIN

Are they... is that allowed?

OFFICER

I don’t... I don’t think there’s a rule against it?

INT. BELLA 1 BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

Dimitri is on a laptop. Incredibly, they have wifi.

DIMITRI

Okay, upload document now... vessel registration... proof of ownership... port of registry is... Sochi.

YURI

Never been to Sochi.

DIMITRI

Is nice this time of year, I hear.

YURI

We going to Iceland.

DIMITRI

Also very nice.

PING. Email confirmation.

DIMITRI (CONT’D)

We approved. Bella 1 is now Marinera. Russian vessel. Home port Sochi.

Yuri picks up the radio to the Coast Guard.

YURI (INTO RADIO)

Attention US Coast Guard. This is Russian vessel Marinera, registry number—

He squints at the email.

YURI (CONT’D)

—registry number... many number. We sail under protection of Russian Federation. Please maintain distance.

INT. WHITE HOUSE - SITUATION ROOM - DAY 10

President TRUMP sits at head of table. Advisors look worried.

ADVISOR

So they just... became Russian?

LEGAL COUNSEL

Technically the registration may not be valid since—

TRUMP

We’ll get it. We’ll end up getting it.

LEGAL COUNSEL

Sir, Russia has sent a diplomatic note demanding we cease—

TRUMP

A diplomatic note. For a tanker doing eight knots.

ADVISOR

Seven point nine knots now, sir. They’re slowing down.

Everyone processes this.

TRUMP

Are we still following it?

ADVISOR

Yes, sir. Seventeen assets currently in pursuit.

TRUMP

Of a ship going seven point nine knots.

ADVISOR

Correct, sir.

Trump stares at the ceiling in disbelief.

EXT. NORTH ATLANTIC - NEAR ICELAND - DAY 12

The Marinera churns through rough seas. Still eight knots. Ice floes appear. The sky is that perpetual twilight of arctic winter.

Behind it, like a funeral procession: Coast Guard cutters. Helicopters. A destroyer. All maintaining exact half-mile distance.

INT. BELLA 1 - NOW MARINERA - CREW QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

The crew drinks vodka. They’re celebrating.

BORIS

To Marinera!

ALL

To Marinera!

They drink. Yuri looks out the window at their pursuers.

YURI

You know, I think they could catch us if they want.

DIMITRI

Da. But lawyer say no.

YURI

Lawyers.

They drink again.

BORIS

How long we can do eight knot?

YURI

To Norway? Week. Maybe month.

DIMITRI

They get bored.

YURI

American? Never.

EXT. NORTH ATLANTIC - CONTINUOUS

The slow-speed chase continues. The massive, lumbering, rust-bucket tanker leading the most powerful navy on Earth on a leisurely tour of the Arctic Circle.

At eight knots.

TITLE CARD: “THE MARINERA CONTINUES NORTH. THE US COAST GUARD CONTINUES TO FOLLOW. MARITIME LAWYERS CONTINUE TO DEBATE. SOMEWHERE, INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU SMILES.”

FADE OUT.

THE END

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This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.